This car is ALPHA Baby! ALPHA!

by: John - posted: 5/21/2008 6:03:00 AM

Kotaku has a fun little link to a guy selling a BMW M3 Coupe with a description that sounds suspiciously like Brucie from Grand Theft Auto IV. I'm sure he's getting a good deal amount of emails right now from Niko telling him he's going to steal the car he wanted and wondering where the next street race will be. I bet the car is all about power and when you buy it you have to touch the guy's pecs. You better be ice cold when you go buy this thing.  Since this is on Autotrader and will go away, I've posted his description after the jump.

2002 BMW M3 Coupe, 6-speed manual, Rare Laguna Seca blue, Gruppe M intake, Remus exhaust, Fully adjustable coilover suspension, AC Schnitzer rear spoiler, AC Schnitzer roof spoiler, AC Schnitzer clear corners, LED tail lights with smoke colored lenses, 50k service (big one including valve adjustment) done at 65k miles, New brakes, Maintenance records available, New 18" wheels and tires, Harman Kardon premium sound system, Ice cold A/C, Looks & runs great, Non-smoker, Power everything, Very clean interior, Well maintained, 100k BMW engine warranty. Private Seller (no sales tax). This car has gotten me laid so much it is ridiculous. I would like pull up to a pimp club in Scottsdale and the valet would crap his pants, but I wouldn't let him park it. I just leave it up front and make sure all the ladies saw me get out. I'm also totally ripped so that helps too. I inject myself with pure bull shark testosterone and lift 4 hours a day. My diet also consists of 24 egg whites a day. I've got a killer 6 pack and some delts that you would not believe. I only hook up with 9s and 10s. Never less because I'm a winner! I'm not saying this car will do the same for you but it's a start. If you're interested in taking the first step to becoming a true Jedi Pimp email me at xxxxxxxx@gmail.com. I'll probably be working out so I'll get back to you as soon as I finish my protein shake (and probably hooking up with a hot chick).