No video game fights its steep learning curve quite like EVE Online. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a million times: EVE is "spreadsheets in space." Which is as painfully reductive as you can get when it comes to video games. I mean, what game can't be reduced to spreadsheets in __________? Destiny 2 is yellow and purple loot spreadsheets. The Witcher 3 is fantasy-epic-inventory spreadsheets. Call of Duty is now Watch Me Publicly Open My Loot Box Spreadsheet on the Beaches of Normandy spreadsheets.
The only difference is that some games are better at hiding their spreadsheets than others.
EVE doesn't try to hide its spreadsheets. More information is better, has always been its secret gameplay motto. And this official gameplay video, which appeals to new and/or EVE-curious players, is pretty brave. Brave in the sense that it actually shows you the dense UI. It shows you the menus. It opens the kimono and lets you know: I'm a big game, I've got a lot of systems, and you either like that or you don't. I mean, look for an official Destiny or Witcher or Call of Duty trailer that makes its game systems and menus and tech trees so readily apparent. You'll be looking for a while.
Whether you're living the relatively quiet life of a miner, or if you're one of the bad guys, or if you want to get completely meta and search for real-life exoplanets in the Milky Way by using EVE's in-game tools, there's something for the spreadsheet lover (dormant or otherwise) in all of us.
Anyway, EVE has been out on PC for 14 years. You can buy it. Or you can play for free.
EVE Online apologist Randy Kalista, signing off.
