EA Sports announces the FIFA Soccer 13 Royal First XI
Oh those wacky Brits. They've done so much for America and they don't get enough credit. They gave us Top Gear, Doctor Who, Downton Abbey, a million Shakespearean-level videogame voice acting performances, Idris Elba, and too many more to list. However, maybe their biggest gift to us is a royal family we can laugh at without actually having to feel embarrassed for when one of them dresses up as Hitler.
They also gave us, albeit indirectly, FIFA Soccer 13.
Since it was recently revealed that Prince Harry, who pulled the classic "second son" move of joining the military, is, when he's not politely killing terrorists, the king of FIFA Soccer 13 (Hey, it may not be the English throne, but it's better than nothing) EA Sports decided to honor his achievements in the field of virtual soccer by cooking up an "all-royal" starting line-up (called a "first XI" across the pond). However, it's not what you think: you don't have to be a royal blood relative, you just have something vaguely royal or Windsor-y in your name.
It looks like this:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------GK Matt Duke (Bradford City)----------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------Zat Knight (Bolton Wanderers)------Prince Desir Gauano (Lanciano - Serie B)------Simon King (Inverness)-------------------
Mark Noble (West Ham United)-Kevin Knight (Bray Wanderers - League of Ireland)-Prince Bauben (Watford FC)-Andy King (Leicester)
----------------------------Marlon King (Birmingham)-----------John Marquis (Millwall)-----------Ryan Noble (Sunderland)-----------------------------
Manager - Sir Alex "Fergie" Ferguson (Manchester United)
The sub bench looks like this: Charles Dias De Oliveira (Belem, Brazil), William Gallas (Tottenham Hotspur), Harry Kane (Norwich City), Danny Andrew (Cheltenham), Kevin Theophile-Catherine (Rennes), Mark Philips (Southend).
And finally, the reserves: Nathaniel Knight-Percival (Peterborough United), Ross King (UCD - League of Ireland), Dame N'Doye (Lokomotiv Moscow), Brendan King (Bray Wanderers - League of Ireland), Kevin-Prince Boateng (AC Milan).
(I find it hard to believe that Kevin-Prince Boateng couldn't crack the first XI, let alone the sub bench, but that's just me)
