Question of the Week: That Game's Gonna Suck!

by: Randy - posted: 5/29/2009 11:50:00 PM

                                             

It's time for us to get pre-judgmental.  Earlier in 2009, Cyril wrote an article loudly declaring that "Every game this year is going to suck!"  We're approaching the halfway mark in the year, but that doesn't mean there aren't loads of inevitably-disappointing games still on the way.

What's one game coming out this year that's going to suck?

We asked the staff to remove the kid gloves.  No points would be awarded for picking on Nintendo's Imagine series, or Hannah Montana: The Movie: The Game.  We forced them to pick a more worthy opponent to take down.

Ben Berry:  What's going to suck?  I dunno, I'm optimistic so I hope none of them.  I really hope it's not DJ Hero, because that looks fun.  (Currently Playing:  Punch-Out!! (and loving it!))

Sean Colleli:  Hm, tough one because we really don't have any solid announcements from Nintendo, otherwise I'd take something of theirs to task. I'm going to take the easy way out here and say Halo 3 ODST, if it even comes out this year. I thought Halo 3 was by far the stalest of the trilogy, pretty much copy and paste into a bigger spreadsheet. ODST isn't even a full game, it's an expansion pack of sorts so I can't see it being very engaging. Halo stopped being innovative after the first game but at least Bungie could try to make the games interesting.

Charles Husemann:  Looking ahead I'm thinking that BioShock 2 is going to be a big letdown.  The first reason is that people still forget that the last third or so of the first game wasn't that good.  A sequel feels a bit like a cash in on the name and while other games have done that (Halo) this seems more blatant as the first game really felt like a closed experience.  The multiplayer might save the game but I'm wary.  E3 might change some of that but I'm not counting.  (Currently Playing: E3 Schedule planner, Luggage Packer 2, and Red Faction: Guerilla)

Randy Kalista:  I was mustering the gumption to tear down a game I already have a special place reserved for in my western lovin' heart, but word just came across that Red Dead Redemption is delayed until next year.  So.  This year, Assassin's Creed 2 is going to suck.  (And I say this knowing that I've already got my pre-order paid off.)  If the first Assassin's Creed was about unveiling the ambiguities and treachery behind the Third Crusade, then it's safe to say that the second one will be about unveiling the ambiguities and treachery behind the High Renaissance.  See?  Belated spoiler alert warning.  And even if I have to kill off only three of Da Vinci's rivals -- instead of a mind-numbingly exhaustive nine -- decode Mona Lisa's smile with four new ways to save a bullied old lady in the streets, and get boringly chewed out only half the time by the Grand High Whatever of the Assassin Brotherhood, then I'll still be bored to tears with the re-re-repetitive gameplay and only find pleasure in finding, climbing, and jumping off the tallest buildings I can find.  Yeah, I know.  Assassin's Creed 2 is going to suck.  And I still want to see what Ubisoft Montreal has in store.  (Currently Playing:  Fable II: See the Future, Demigod, EVE Online.  And, uh, Half-Life 2.  Backlog.  You understand)

Dan Keener:  Yeah, this is a real simple one for me and it is sure to ruffle some feathers, but I truly believe that DJ Hero and Scratch: The Ultimate DJ (assuming litigation is settled) are gonna suck.  Sure, they will be hot for awhile when all the hip-hop wannabees start making like their some bas-ass DJ at da club.  However, reality will soon set in when they realize they aren't in the club, their girlfriends aren't from South Beach and they have one more big-ass hunk of plastic sitting around the house that isn't being used.  Not to mention the common sense aspect, that the game will be geared toward a niche market (while a large one, still a niche) and the casual fan that has helped elevate the Rock Band series probably wont give them a second look.  (Currently Playing: Rock Band 2, Hasbro Family Game Night, some iPod Touch coin-op classics and a slew of peripherals and Hardware)

Nathan Murray:  Two Worlds is tentatively scheduled to come out later this year on the PlayStation 3. A game notoriously bad should be expected to continue to be horrible on a different platform. I played the Xbox 360 demo, heard a couple of lines of dialog, and then immediately went back to the blades menu to delete the thing from my hard drive forever. I could forgive the popping textures and the generic control scheme but the dialog just made me wish I had an Awful-to-English dictionary.  (Currently Playing:  Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core (finished), Rock Band 2, Call of Duty 4, and UFC 2009 Undisputed (meaning there are no take backsies))

Sean Nack:  I'm going to go with Tony Hawk Ride, not just because skateboarders annoy me, but also because of the inevitable "I fell off my skateboard-controller-doohickey and got a boo-boo" lawsuits/news segments. All of this "innovation" craziness needs to stop; develop your narrative, develop the medium's story-telling ability, but don't develop more ways for our beloved hobby to look more ridiculous than it already does. That game? Gonna suck.  (Currently Playing: Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena)

Jake Wolfe:  I'm going to say the new Indiana Jones game, coming out for all current-gen systems on June 9th. This game sounds like it's going to be very much like it's Star Wars cousin, The Force Unleashed, both are made by most of the same people, and like TFU, I'm going to have to say that Indiana Jones and the Staff of Kings will suck on the DS just as bad as TFU. TFU failed to deliver on it's gameplay and grtaphics on the DS when it was released last year, and I have to say that unless LucasArts has learned from its mistakes, Indiana Jones is going to suck just as bad. But hey, hopin' I'm wrong, I'd love to see this game succeed, and I'm sure it'll rock on every other system, but on DS, I can't get myself to believe in it.  But I will definitely be buying it for PSP, no matter what...  (Currently Playing:  Medal of Honor: Pacific Assault (PC), a little bit of Sega Genesis Collection (PSP), and every now n then some Renegade Squadron or Force Unleashed. (PSP))